Cooking as zen

About ten years ago I went on this big "finding myself" book tour. Basically, I was hunting for some meaning. It was not really a great time in my life in lots of ways. I was broke, my mother had died about a year before and my first marriage was over. I spent a lot of the days back then reading and one of the books that has stuck with me is Sweeping Changes, a book about Zen and housework.

Don't worry...I wasn't converted into thinking that housework is always fun...in fact it didn't even teach me to enjoy it anymore than I had before. I loath dishes to this day.

But what I did learn about myself was that I really enjoy cooking, particularly things that are more often than not store-bought and often complicated.

I am Eden and I am addicted to cooking complicated dishes that use a lot of dishes in the process...

I am addicted to fermenting, make keifer, cheese, kombucha and other buggy filled goodies whenever I can. My husband is convinced that I will someday poison all of us from my counter top fermenting. It's pretty annoying actually..

Anywho, today I made marshmallows and helped Brice made fries (is there anything better to eat than home made fries? I think not!)

I just get so much out of it...it is instant, edible and takes some finesse to do well...and even of it looks yucky it mostly tastes good!









And just in case ur wondering...here is my recipe...modified from Alton Brown

2 packets gelatin
1/2 cup water
1 cup maple syrup, honey or other natural semi-liquid sweetener
1/4 tsp. salt
1 Tbs. vanilla extract

Cook the sugar syrup until at 250 degrees. In your stand mixer bowl combine water and gelatin and let stand until syrup done cooking. When syrup done, turn on mixer to low and poor the syrup into the gelatin mixture. When all combined turn mixer (with whisk preferably) on to high, add salt and let spin until light and fluffy. Add vanilla right before you t finish mixing.
Oil and coat with powered sugar a small pan (depends on how thick you want your mallows really). Foam is sticky...I mean STICKY! Oil your spatula or you will not get anywhere with it. Spread into pan and allow to "cure" for at least 4 hours. The sugar the top and cut with a pizza roller, turn out into a powdered sugar filled Tupperware style container, seal and shake. They should be stick free now!

Now...go eat them!

I need to remember this...

It is amazing where and how I am hit with some of my ideas. Last night, I was reading the newest issue of Mothering magazine, a book review about a woman who take infant/mother pairs into high-risk classrooms to teach empathy to the classroom. That really caught my attention because empathy and social relationships are one of my main research interests, only I believe that it need to begin way earlier, like maybe at birth! So I had a great idea for my dissertation:

Can/Does/Will a mixed age (infant through age 5) classroom increase empathy awareness with children?

Doesn't that sound fascinating?

And she said let there be life...

New year...I figured let's try this blogging thing again. Or at least put the things I want to change/do/happen down on the virtual paper so I don't forget. I am good at forgetting.
Welcome New Year 2010..good bye 2009, not a great year for me and mine (though we got Linus and I had my VBAC) but job wise, money wise and life wise, it was a hard year.

Sooooooo...what do I want from 2010? Well, I want to get back to my values and stop spending so much time thinking about shit that just doesn't really matter.

I want to make our bread, yogurt and cheese...every week. I really do have the time. If I took 1/2 the time I spend putting around the interweb, I would have more than enough time to do it!

I want to get back to enjoying my little kids. My expectations of their behavior has been skewed somehow over the last year. They are 5 and 3...they should be acting like they are 5 and 3!

I want to live more in the moment. I know it is a cliche but we spend a lot of time planning in my house...planning the day, the week, the year, 10 years! Kids and school will do that to you...I want to step away from that a bit and not plan so much. Yeah, I hate my house and I want to move but it ain't happening anytime soon...so quit stressing about it!

I want to get my posture under control...three babies in 6 years and my posture is wrecked! I will work on it when sitting! Sounds silly but I get terrible headaches from it.

I want to find something that is just for me. Call it mama guilt, call it genetics from my mother but I'm done being a self-imposed martyr...if I can spend $15 on a pair of shoes for a child how does not yet walk, I can get my hair cut ever couple months. Yeah..and I can shower everyday...really it is not that hard!

I want to push myself, do some stuff that breaks me out of my comfort zone! Make new friends, spend time with adults, share myself with other, know that I don't have to be perfect everyday, all the time, play with my children (not just watch them play) everyday...I need to make some changes for sure!

So, let us see if I can keep up this cathartic exercise!

Playing the odds!

I have been thinking a lot about "odds" for the past 24 hours. How I tend to defy them, either good or bad...

I had to have emergency surgery yesterday...for something that has the odds of happening to me 1:1000. It wasn't super serious, honestly it was just really annoying that it happened at all and I am doing fine, a little sore but overall well.

1:1000 women who have this initial procedure have this complication...that is pretty darn long odds if you ask me!

So it got me thinking...what are the long odds I have defied...let us examine...

Yarrow's birth complication: 1:699 births

Chance your homebirth will transfer to the hospital: 8%

Chance of a csection because of this transfer: >1% (yep, had this)

60% of second marriages fail within five years...our 6th anniversary is this May.

Chance of getting pregnant the first month you try: 25% (we did this twice!!)

Failure rate of using Fertility Awareness and withdraw for birth control 1:300 (say hello to Linus)

3% of teen moms obtain a college degree...I have a BA and a MA and I start a PhD this fall.


So at this point I'm thinking I really should be playing the lottery every week! How long do you think it would take for me to win??? A year?

I'll keep you posted...

Ori is five! When did that happen?

You know that old saying:

"The older you get, the faster times goes by."


I am really feeling it today! It hardly seems possible that my first boy is already five. I remember Laurelle turning five and it felt like those first five years stretched out f-o-r-e-v-e-r!

Not with Ori...it seems like he was just a little bitty thing last week! I am really loving the small person he is becoming and lots of wonderful years we have ahead to share!

Happy birthday Mr. Man!

A couple pics...one recent and one on the day he was born!

Autism speaks to me...

A couple days ago, I was lucky enough to go to a presentation by Dr Temple Grandin about how to support children with autism through to adulthood. Dr. Grandin is herself a person with autism and as many things I have read by or about her, nothing compared to hearing her speak about herself and her experiences. I feel like I learned more very simple things to do for young children with autism in the 60 minutes I heard her speak than I have alearned in seven years of teaching and three years of graduate school! I am so glad I got to go!

Want to know more?

http://www.templegrandin.com/templehome.html

We made it to hell and back...Irish Dancing Hell that is!

Every year my daughter Laurelle, does about a kazillian Irish Dancing performances. Most of them take place at nursing home and other eldercare type places. Every year she and I get very burnt out on it. This year was the same thing. I guess that is the occupational hazard of being the mom to an Irish Dancer.

Anyway, this year it was even less fun because Laurelle wasn't put with the other "fun moms" kids...she was put with the easily stressed out, stage-ish moms kids. I guess I have been spoiled in the past by being with the moms who have done this a million times and will just ask for help if they need it (not that I would have been much help this year with my newborn in a sling). There was lots of passive-aggressive stuff going on and at one performance they even chose not to put down the stage...so of course two girls slipped an fell, one of which was Laurelle.

Um...while it might seem that the our stage is there to protect the flooring of the place were dancing, in actuality is it there also to keep our dancers safe from anything slippery that might be unseen on the floor! This isn't rocket science people! This was combined with the fact that the stage hauler was late...I mean REALLY late to every performance...like 15-20 minutes late. I might not always be on time...but 20 minutes? really?

Okay Rant over! Laurelle only turned her ankle once this year...which is really good! She also did a great job...she has some major weight in her feet for her hard shoe solos. Think she really had fun until that last day...

Laurelle is the one in the light blue dress....yes those are wigs ;-)