Cooking as zen

About ten years ago I went on this big "finding myself" book tour. Basically, I was hunting for some meaning. It was not really a great time in my life in lots of ways. I was broke, my mother had died about a year before and my first marriage was over. I spent a lot of the days back then reading and one of the books that has stuck with me is Sweeping Changes, a book about Zen and housework.

Don't worry...I wasn't converted into thinking that housework is always fun...in fact it didn't even teach me to enjoy it anymore than I had before. I loath dishes to this day.

But what I did learn about myself was that I really enjoy cooking, particularly things that are more often than not store-bought and often complicated.

I am Eden and I am addicted to cooking complicated dishes that use a lot of dishes in the process...

I am addicted to fermenting, make keifer, cheese, kombucha and other buggy filled goodies whenever I can. My husband is convinced that I will someday poison all of us from my counter top fermenting. It's pretty annoying actually..

Anywho, today I made marshmallows and helped Brice made fries (is there anything better to eat than home made fries? I think not!)

I just get so much out of it...it is instant, edible and takes some finesse to do well...and even of it looks yucky it mostly tastes good!









And just in case ur wondering...here is my recipe...modified from Alton Brown

2 packets gelatin
1/2 cup water
1 cup maple syrup, honey or other natural semi-liquid sweetener
1/4 tsp. salt
1 Tbs. vanilla extract

Cook the sugar syrup until at 250 degrees. In your stand mixer bowl combine water and gelatin and let stand until syrup done cooking. When syrup done, turn on mixer to low and poor the syrup into the gelatin mixture. When all combined turn mixer (with whisk preferably) on to high, add salt and let spin until light and fluffy. Add vanilla right before you t finish mixing.
Oil and coat with powered sugar a small pan (depends on how thick you want your mallows really). Foam is sticky...I mean STICKY! Oil your spatula or you will not get anywhere with it. Spread into pan and allow to "cure" for at least 4 hours. The sugar the top and cut with a pizza roller, turn out into a powdered sugar filled Tupperware style container, seal and shake. They should be stick free now!

Now...go eat them!

I need to remember this...

It is amazing where and how I am hit with some of my ideas. Last night, I was reading the newest issue of Mothering magazine, a book review about a woman who take infant/mother pairs into high-risk classrooms to teach empathy to the classroom. That really caught my attention because empathy and social relationships are one of my main research interests, only I believe that it need to begin way earlier, like maybe at birth! So I had a great idea for my dissertation:

Can/Does/Will a mixed age (infant through age 5) classroom increase empathy awareness with children?

Doesn't that sound fascinating?

And she said let there be life...

New year...I figured let's try this blogging thing again. Or at least put the things I want to change/do/happen down on the virtual paper so I don't forget. I am good at forgetting.
Welcome New Year 2010..good bye 2009, not a great year for me and mine (though we got Linus and I had my VBAC) but job wise, money wise and life wise, it was a hard year.

Sooooooo...what do I want from 2010? Well, I want to get back to my values and stop spending so much time thinking about shit that just doesn't really matter.

I want to make our bread, yogurt and cheese...every week. I really do have the time. If I took 1/2 the time I spend putting around the interweb, I would have more than enough time to do it!

I want to get back to enjoying my little kids. My expectations of their behavior has been skewed somehow over the last year. They are 5 and 3...they should be acting like they are 5 and 3!

I want to live more in the moment. I know it is a cliche but we spend a lot of time planning in my house...planning the day, the week, the year, 10 years! Kids and school will do that to you...I want to step away from that a bit and not plan so much. Yeah, I hate my house and I want to move but it ain't happening anytime soon...so quit stressing about it!

I want to get my posture under control...three babies in 6 years and my posture is wrecked! I will work on it when sitting! Sounds silly but I get terrible headaches from it.

I want to find something that is just for me. Call it mama guilt, call it genetics from my mother but I'm done being a self-imposed martyr...if I can spend $15 on a pair of shoes for a child how does not yet walk, I can get my hair cut ever couple months. Yeah..and I can shower everyday...really it is not that hard!

I want to push myself, do some stuff that breaks me out of my comfort zone! Make new friends, spend time with adults, share myself with other, know that I don't have to be perfect everyday, all the time, play with my children (not just watch them play) everyday...I need to make some changes for sure!

So, let us see if I can keep up this cathartic exercise!